A Diamond Amidst the Darkness
by Esper17
Summary: One wild night and Kolyat is forced to face the consequences. A one night stand coming back a year later only to throw an infant into his arms before disappearing. No friends. No clue. No one to turn to. Kolyat must make the decision of keeping the child or turning him over to the authorities. A single parent tale and a journey towards love and family. Kolyat x M(OC).
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

She approached Kolyat when he left the station. As if she planned it. A predator ready to pounce. As if she'd been waiting, knowing exactly when he would be leaving the station. Not like his schedule changed much, to begin with, while he finished his probation period. He wondered if he even gave her much of a challenge, or if the depth of her stalking amounted to more than just asking around for him.

Not like finding one of two registered drells in C-Sec could've been a hindering challenge.

It took Kolyat a moment to realize who she was. A drell he met at a bar. A woman whose name he never took. An individual he didn't know anything about ... except for what she looked like beneath her dress.

It happened the night Kolyat passed his exams. His choice finalized. A decision to finish his internship and apply to become a full-fledged officer. Kolyat and a handful of others graduated from C-Sec Academy. Long nights of studying, combat training, self-defense classes and judicial law memorization paying off. It was finally his chance to change his life. To become someone better. Someone different. Someone he was proud to say he was.

A protector instead of a killer.

The party he joined started at a nearby club. It was something simple, just drinking and laughing with a few classmates. It wasn't until they left the club and went to a smaller bar that their entourage grew. Friends of friends joined the fray, strangers that looked amazing and smelled even better. Men and women who wanted a good time, a good drink, or a good lay. Badge bunnies he heard one of his co-workers snicker before he left for a hotel with one of the asari's that joined them.

When Kolyat's friends started to dwindle, that's when he saw her. It wasn't that he was looking for her, Kolyat actually had his eye on her male counterpart instead. A gold drell, tall and lean, with a narrow face, and piercing green irises. Exactly his type. She approached him first though, and when Kolyat saw the man he had his eye on already talking to a turian officer with a suggestive touch, Kolyat diverted his attention to the woman instead.

She was a petite little thing, barely reaching his shoulders. Soft blue scales and irises the color of emeralds. Her voice was melodic, her body lithe, and Kolyat found himself entranced by the way she moved. He liked people with charisma, and she laughed and danced with him like he was the only thing that mattered.

When they hit the third bar, he was completely inebriated, barely able to get his sentences out. They didn't need any words when they hit the hotel shortly after. They were wild and out of control, animalistic and free. No attachments. No worries or cares. Just chasing the sensation. The undeniable lust. Nothing more. He didn't know her name. She didn't know his. A perfect one night stand. No apologies and an empty bed without a trace of her the next morning.

That and of course his colossal hangover. He was lucky he remembered the woman at all.

Kolyat was startled to see her when she ran towards him. His mind unable to register her in a different setting other than the bar. Or the bed. Or the floor. Or against the wall. Or on her hands and knees, face buried, ass up. He felt like his reality was turning upside down.

She glared at him and hissed, yelled about something being all his fault. She wished they never met. He had no idea what she was talking about as she shoved at his shoulder making him stumble back. No time to question when she screeched for him to shut up without even letting him speak. He couldn't get a single word out.

"Have fun," she spat, thrusting a box into his chest. "I never signed up for this. It's your problem now."

He was completely stunned with no idea what to say. No clue what the woman was talking about as she stormed away screaming for him not to follow. She jumped in a skycar and flew away, leaving him gaping like an idiot after her, holding a mysterious package with holes cut in the sides.

Sweet Arashu, he prayed it wasn't a bomb.

Blinking in confusion, he placed the box down on the ground, feeling a definite weight within, unsure if whatever the hell it was, was fragile or not. He prayed again that whatever it was wouldn't blow up in his face. Crouching down he moved the flaps back and peered inside, curiosity getting the best of him.

He felt his lungs threaten to fall through the soles of his feet.

Wrapped in green cloth, tucked upon a small silver blanket, slept a yellow scaled, drell, infant.

"Holy, shit," he gasped, forgetting how to breathe, his existence freezing in place.

* * *

"Is he yours?"

"No, he's not mine!" Kolyat yelled, feeling panic take him over as he told Captain Bailey about what just happened.

A baby! A fucking baby! That couldn't be happening.

"Are you sure?" Bailey asked calmly, shifting a stack of papers on his desk, attention moving to the box Kolyat placed down in swelling anger. The baby jolted, awakened after Kolyat's rough treatment and outburst. A soft whimper escalating until a continuous cry bellowed from their tiny lungs.

"He's. Not. Mine." Kolyat slammed his hands down in front of the box, stressing every word.

Bailey grimaced, most likely from the infants screams and less likely from Kolyat's outburst, as he turned his attention back to his computer and continued typing whatever document he was working on before Kolyat stormed in.

"So, you don't know who that woman was? Never saw her before?"

Kolyat stared at Bailey in stunned silence and pulled his hands back. Several heartbeats and the denial stuck to the roof of Kolyat's mouth like a foul taste. He dropped his gaze unable to hide the lie even if he wanted to. Crossing his arms in front of his chest he did his best to look indifferent, failing miserably.

"Uh, huh, and this woman - did you sleep with her?"

Kolyat glanced up and frowned, looked at Bailey and then towards the howling baby. His cries unrelenting but pathetic in their sounds. The infant couldn't be more than a couple of weeks old at the very most, his throat still adjusting to sounds while his hyoid bone and vocal box developed.

Could it be possible that the baby was his? Kolyat tried to crunch the numbers. His mind coming up with every reason that the scenario couldn't be true. It was only one night. It was almost a year ago. Maybe less. Maybe ten months. She could've slept with someone else. He didn't notice that she was in heat that night. He didn't smell … he was so drunk then. The memories fuzzy. He couldn't even recall clearly with solipsism.

Before Kolyat could get a clear handle on his thoughts, Bailey snapped his computer shut. "Look, I'm going to give you a few days off to figure everything out."

"Figure what out?" Kolyat stared at him in disbelief, his heart a moment away from stopping.

"What you're going to do with the baby. Your baby, by the sound of it."

"He's not mine!" Kolyat yelled again. "What am I supposed to do with a baby?"

Bailey narrowed his eyes and stood, jaw tensing as he grabbed the box and walked towards Kolyat. His aura of authority forcing Kolyat to sober as the human man gave him a hard look. "Do what you think is best." He pushed the box into Kolyat's chest waiting for him to take a hold of it.

Kolyat felt like he was having an out of body experience. His stomach dropped to his feet. Everything was a dream, it had to be a cruel joke. There was no way that was happening. There was no way the baby was his. He didn't care what anyone said or thought. Everything was a big misunderstanding. It had to be.

Kolyat stared down at the infant in the box. His pitiful struggle as he battled to move his arms, hands confined snugly within the blanket. His eyes slowly opening for the first time.

Cerulean irises. The same as his.

The heavy weight of Bailey's hand on his shoulder became an anchor, his body felt ready to freefall, the human's words soft as Kolyat's mind proceeded to go blank in horror. "Welcome to adulthood, son – living with the results of your actions."

* * *

Kolyat walked through the station in a withdrawn fog, avoiding eye contact with everyone he passed, ignoring those he knew as they tried to get his attention with a wave or a shout of his name. He'd already hit his threshold for unnecessary antics for one day and didn't know how to answer any questions that would probably barrel drive towards him. All he could do right now was focus on the meltdown happening within the box he held.

Kolyat had no materials to take on the problem currently in his possession. He needed diapers. He needed baby food. He needed earplugs or duct tape to stop the noise. Some kind of clue. A time warp to a year ago. A hard drink. Wait, that's what might've gotten him into the situation, to begin with. Strike the last one.

Above all, he needed a plan for how he was going to handle the situation … and to take the baby out of the damn box.

He was almost to the point of sprinting as he made his way to the first elevator that opened. Juggling the box in his hands, Kolyat slammed his palm down on the call button and prayed no one else would see him as he made his way to the archive and possession storage unit. A large warehouse used mainly as a lost and found that Kolyat was first assigned to under Bailey's authorization when he was still working off his covered-up probation period.

Glancing up at the clock on the wall near the security doors, Kolyat sighed in relief when he saw that operating hours were over and he was less likely to run into anyone he used to work with. Swiping his ID card at the sensor, he opened the doors and moved towards an empty desk that stood near the entrance placing the box down on the counter.

The baby was close to irate, one hand breaking free of his confines, little fist shaking, indicating the level of heightened distress.

That is if his wails didn't give off the obvious hint already. Kolyat took a deep, steady breath, tried to ease his own hammering heartbeat before he gingerly reached into the box and carefully pulled the blanket away from the baby's other tangled hand. Once the tiny fist was freed from captivity, Kolyat proceeded to unwrap the cloth from around the baby's body, doing his best as the little guy fought against him

The cries subsided into soft mews of uncertainty and Kolyat took that opportunity to place his hands beneath the infant's armpits and lift him from the box. Kolyat went slow. Gentle. Adjusting his hold when the baby's head snapped back unexpectedly causing him to gasp and blanch in horror as he remembered that an infant's neck, at that age, was not yet strong enough to support the weight of the crown fringe. Kolyat took another deep, calming breath, and moved one hand to cradle the back of the baby's head while he pulled the infant against his chest in comfort and safety.

It was an odd sensation - to hold something so small and fragile in his hands. Kolyat had trouble processing the moment, and the fleeting enjoyment was ripped away as the baby screamed right beside his ear. Kolyat grimaced, forcing himself to endure as shock waves of pain ripped through his eardrum like fired lightning bolts from a vengeful god.

Clearing his throat, he purred and started to sway slightly from side to side. He wasn't sure if it was the correct thing to do but the movement felt natural due to the circumstance. He remembered his parents doing it to him for consoling when he was a child. "Easy," he whispered. "It's ok. I know the box sucked. I don't know why she put you in there, to begin with."

Kolyat waited and purred again to sooth the infant, giving him a few moments to hopefully pick up on the fact that Kolyat was trying to help him. Then anyway.

It worked.

At least Kolyat thought it did because the baby took a deep breath and quieted as if he was deciding what he wanted to do with himself. It was the window Kolyat needed. Using that second of hesitation, Kolyat shifted the baby in his hold and went to the computer terminal, doing his best to type with one hand into the search engine to find what he was looking for. The cries continued to stay quiet and Kolyat felt his body ease from a coiled tightness he didn't realize his muscles held since the infant was shoved into his arms unexpectedly.

He looked at the box in irritation. Nothing else within other than the blanket. No diapers. No wipes. No food. Not even a fucking birth certificate for the baby or a name for the stupid woman who abandoned him. She could've at least started a conversation before she fled, other than the screaming. How the hell was Kolyat supposed to find her? Didn't she realize how many registered drells were on the Citadel? If she was even in the database.

But that was the point, wasn't it? Kolyat was not meant to find her ever again, and a dark part of him knew it, too.

Kolyat huffed in resentment and tore his gaze from the box to the infant who whimpered like he was warning Kolyat that he wanted to cry again. Instead, his eyes opened, and he glanced up, allowing Kolyat another glimpse of cerulean irises and all their implications.

Pushing away another round of possibility he couldn't deal with just then, Kolyat moved from the desk and made his way towards the back of the warehouse. He used his solipsism as he moved, his memory and the familiar trail of when he worked in the department guided his way until he reached a specific set of shelves number marked in sequence.

Kolyat hummed in solace when he checked the retention label and noticed the date for claim had passed, making the items fair game for anyone who wished to claim them. Kolyat held the baby securely against his chest and reached his other hand out to pull the container on the bottom out enough to unlatch the cover.

Once aside, he smiled in relief to see the baby carrier still sitting within.

* * *

"Those are turian diapers."

Kolyat wasn't sure if the unknown voice was meant for him, but he dropped his gaze to the pack of diapers in his hand and read the label more carefully. He sensed whoever spoke start to draw near, and he glanced up and then around, noticing that he was alone in the aisle.

Well himself and a screaming baby.

"It doesn't say that." Kolyat huffed, unable to keep the irritation from his voice, hoping the person would mind their own fucking business and keep moving. He was having a hard enough day as it was to pile on any further bullshit.

The man approached him in several strides and smiled in friendly warmth, his hand reaching forward, fingers motioning for Kolyat to hand over the pack. Kolyat frowned but obliged and then quirked an eye ridge as the man placed the merchandise back on the shelf and moved several feet over to grab a brand Kolyat had stared at several moments prior and disregarded.

Another scream rose from the baby and Kolyat sighed in defeat, placing the carrier down on the ground and knelt beside it.

Any chance he could leave the baby in the middle of the store and make a break for it?

"Please. I'm trying here," Kolyat short of begged, rocking the carrier to try and silence the relentless bundle of noise.

"First-time parent?" The man asked, his sympathizing gaze shifting from Kolyat to the carrier and then back again.

The man was tall and lean, the same height as him, and like most of that particular small pocket of the Citadel, drell. His scales - what could be seen at least - were a deep purple, and his frills a rose-colored pink. He had no discernable markings on his face except for the two-perfect black crescent moons and the black pentagram scale on his forehead. Two small smudges of black lined the edges of his brow ridges.

It was his eyes though that caused Kolyat a moment of lapsed placement as he stared. Like he was anywhere in the galaxy except in the middle of a baby store with a screaming infant at his feet. The man's irises were a dark gold, like the embroidery of royal clothing, or the sunlight on desert beaches right before it faded to dusk or the color of a marriage hikari.

His was silver - Kolyat was unable to stop himself from noticing. Thin silver around his neck like a silent beacon. Come hither. Take notice. Single and looking.

"He's not mine. I'm just watching him for a few days." Kolyat made sure to say, establishing the foundation that he did not have a child, nor that he was in any kind of relationship. His own thin silver hikari evidence enough.

The man smiled wider, making Kolyat's mouth feel dry, the air leaving momentarily, before he replied, "I think he might be hungry." He handed Kolyat the new pack of diapers with a drell baby at the bottom of the logo. "These are for sensitive scales. Try those first before you get anything else. It's always better to assume he could be allergic to everything before buying a regular brand. Besides-" He glanced down at the carrier. "He looks like he's about to shed soon – and you should probably let me take that formula away. It's for krogan's."

"What?" Kolyat blinked in horror and embarrassment as the man bent down and took the bottle that was wedged on the side of the carrier by the baby's feet. "Please tell me I wasn't about to commit murder." Not even a few hours in and he was probably about to kill the kid.

The man chuckled and shifted the death formula in his hands. "The cashiers would've noticed and made a comment to you. If you left the store without a clear answer to why you were taking the wrong formula, the authorities would've been notified. Most likely you wouldn't have gotten far without being apprehended."

"You know a lot about this," Kolyat said cautiously, giving the drell another once over at how well dressed he was. He didn't look like any of the employee's Kolyat saw wearing a purple apron or shirt. Instead, he was dressed in burgundy dress pants, a black button up shirt and a matching, silver, black and maroon, diagonally striped tie.

Good looking and dressed to impress.

The purple drell smiled and reached his free hand into his pants pocket, pulling out a white card and flipped it over for Kolyat to see. A name badge with the company's logo etched at the top. "I sure hope so since I'm one of the store managers. I just finished my shift when I saw you." His gaze dropped back to the baby. "It seemed like you needed some assistance."

"Did his screaming give it away? Do you sell instruction manuals?" Kolyat deadpanned, unsure himself if he was being serious or sarcastic.

The man laughed regardless and put the ID back in the pocket of his pants. "I'm, Gavin. In case my name tag didn't give it away."

"Kolyat," he replied and sighed when the baby let out another ear-piercing scream making him grimace.

Gavin gave him a pained expression in return. "Stay here, let me get you something." Turning quickly, he left the aisle, leaving Kolyat alone for barely a minute before he jogged back around the corner with a handful of wrapped packages, minus the bottle of formula. Dropping to his knees in front of the carrier, Gavin rested the little wrappings on his lap and began opening one. "Do you mind if I give him something?"

"Will it make his screaming stop?" Kolyat watched in fascination, hoping Gavin had the miracle cure-all in his possession.

"Hopefully." Gavin grinned, opening the tiny bag and took out what appeared to be a long, flat cracker. "These will disintegrate as eaten. He only seems about 3 weeks or so. They will be easy on his teeth while they harden." Gavin held up the cracker and waited for the baby to focus enough to open his mouth. He purred and waited patiently, doing what he could to until the infant finally opened his eyes and listened to the soft purr vibrating from Gavin's throat. His cries subsided and he opened his mouth when Gavin urged the cracker near his lips. "There we go. You're just hungry. I understand."

Kolyat watched in silence while Gavin sat patiently until the baby ate a second and third cracker, his cries completely silenced and seeming content by the time he stood and smiled at Kolyat. "Thank you," Kolyat said sincerely. "I wasn't given anything to start off with and … I'm really new at this."

"I can tell." Gavin returned with a coy smile. "I can give you some more of the crackers. They're free samples we keep at the front desk in case the infants get antsy like your little guy here. If you follow me I'll also get you the right formula."

Gavin directed for Kolyat to follow as he started to walk towards the end of the aisle and waited for him to grab the carrier. Kolyat followed closely behind him, glancing at his face periodically and quickly away when Gavin turned to look at him and stopped short.

Kolyat stumbled slightly holding a hand up to tap Gavin's shoulder to prevent him from slamming against the man. He purred in apology and felt his frills heat, Gavin also blinking in surprise at how close Kolyat was. "Sorry. I was looking around and wasn't paying attention."

"Trying to take everything in? It can get a little overwhelming," Gavin answered simply.

Kolyat purred in agreement although he wasn't sure if he meant the baby store or Gavin's presence at that moment.

"Well, this is the aisle you're looking for." Gavin motioned, as they ended at a corner of the store. "All of the food he can eat is here. Don't go too crazy since you're only going to have him a few days, but I would recommend getting him some rik'hal lotion for his scales." He hesitated and smiled, looking down at the baby and then back at Kolyat, something unspoken in his gaze. "Do you need anything else?"

Kolyat looked down the aisle and then back at Gavin, the urge to ask for his number right on the tip of his tongue. He smiled and shook his head. "No, I think I got it from here … hopefully. Thank you, Gavin."

"Of course." He nodded, his gaze roaming over Kolyat momentarily before he blinked and looked away, his gold irises disappearing behind his black ocular scales. "Just look on the bright side, infants are simple. Eat. Sleep. Poop. There's really nothing more to it at this stage, and you only have him for a few days. You'll be fine."

"A few days," Kolyat repeated, the whole day coming back to him as he glanced down at the baby who stared back in silence.

A few days to figure everything out, even though he barely wanted to keep him for a few hours. A few days to give the baby back to the woman or to place him with the proper authorities - child protective services - an adoption agency - whatever that wasn't with him. The baby wasn't his. Not his responsibility. He was just an assignment that was thrown onto Kolyat unwillingly. He would take care of the problem and keep going like nothing happened.

Deal with it and move on. Just like the rest of his cases.

Only a few days. No attachments.

He could manage a few days before he got his life back.


	2. Chapter 2

Kolyat changed his mind.

 _No way…._

 _There was just no way…._

No fucking way that he would be able to continue watching the kid for a few more days. A few hours in and he was ready to lose his mind. Call it quits and walk away.

Ready to dump the baby anywhere but with him.

A cardboard box shoved into someone's arms as he ran for dear life.

 _I think I'm starting to realize how that stupid woman must have felt._

Ever since he walked through his front door and placed the baby down, an endless eruption of screaming and crying spewed from the little guy like a sudden storm. So much, in fact, that Kolyat was more than happy to make arrangements with child services for drop off, thirty minutes into the relentless ruckus that refused to cease. The only downside, however, was that since the baby was in his care - a registered officer - and not in any immediate danger, other cases took priority.

His appointment was in three days.

Three days until his life went back to normal.

Three days in trying not to lose his sanity.

Three days to not jump from the roof of his building if the crying didn't stop.

Kolyat's whole body was on edge as the wails intensified, like the scraping of metal against teeth, or calm rivers flowing towards exploding volcanoes, surrounded by turrets. His adrenaline pumped and he felt as if he just ran a marathon with how fast his heart was racing in frustration. He was desperate as he read the datapad beside him on the table, hoping to find something - anything - to just make the crying stop.

Nothing the passages said made any sense.

Granted it took him several attempts to figure out how to get a diaper on the kid properly, ripping a few, or getting some tangled, or stuck to his fingers, as he tried to close the latches, but the baby wore a new diaper and was completely clean. He was also fed and _ri'khal_ lotion was applied to his crown fringe where Kolyat noticed some scales starting to peel.

The kid should be in heaven, not dragging him down to suffer in the bowels of purgatory.

Kolyat didn't have any baby toys so he tried dangling different colored measuring spoons - as the datapad suggested - like a mock item of interest. Nothing deterred the babies attention.

He tried purring. He tried rocking the carrier. He tried a drink. He was about to offer the kid a kidney if he would just stop crying. What else could be the problem? The screams were irate and Kolyat despaired as he reached three hours straight with nothing but ceaseless laments.

He was exhausted. He knew the baby was exhausted. The whole fucking Citadel was exhausted. So why wasn't he calming down and going the fuck to sleep?

Kolyat tried another piece of food, bringing a soft piece of fruit to the babies mouth, but the infant pulled his face away from the spoon almost immediately. He hesitated in the noise, giving Kolyat a second of hope before the infant took a deep rattled breath and released another high pitched scream. His arms flailed and the tiny fists clenched so tight that the color of his hands began to drain.

Kolyat sat down and sighed heavily, dropping his face into an open palm. He rubbed his eyes wearily and glanced down at the time on his onmitool before he ran a hand over his head crown in defeat. He felt like he was at wit's end. Maybe the baby wanted to be held? Kolyat really didn't want to, but if that's what it took just to get a few moments of quiet...

A few minutes of sleep.

Kolyat placed the spoon in his other hand back in the bowl and stood, unlatched the buckle between the babies legs in the carrier, and reached out to cradle the baby in his arms. At first, Kolyat did his best not to grow increasingly agitated while the screams and flailing continued. Trying to give the baby the benefit of the doubt while he brought the infant to look over his shoulder and kept him secure with one arm.

That was until Kolyat noticed the heat radiating off the infant's body like a preheating oven.

The baby's skin felt incredibly hot beneath the green one-piece outfit. His scales felt slick and seemed duller than Kolyat thought they should be. Carefully, Kolyat took a free hand and brought it up to feel the babies forehead. Intense warmth hit his palm, blooming from the babies temple.

"Shit," Kolyat cursed, knowing something seemed extremely off, mad at himself for not noticing sooner. Drells weren't supposed to get this hot unless it was _mi'taro_ and that was not supposed to happen for males, the first time, until the age of ten.

With one hand he threw some diapers and food into the carrier and shoved the babies blanket on top before grabbing the handle and making a break for it towards his front door.

* * *

"His fevers pretty high. Do you know if he's missing any vaccinations?" The doctor asked, hitting a few buttons on the scanner she used to check the baby's oxygen intake and temperature. She placed the device down and switched places with the medical technician that was helping to hold the baby on the exam table.

Kolyat shook his head and frowned. "I'm sorry, I – I wasn't given any information." He began to wonder if the baby was even taken care of properly, to begin with before he was shoved into Kolyat's arms. Kolyat mentally seethed as that scenario became more factual. The woman's irresponsible actions should've already been a tip-off from the beginning.

'I never signed up for this.'

She could've at least approached him like a decent person and explained the situation. He wasn't unreasonable. He would've listened and given her a chance for them to figure it out together, instead of a dash and desert on her part.

 _What a cunt._

"The baby was just dropped off at the precinct," Kolyat continued. Not a complete lie. "He has an appointment with child services in three days. That's all I really know."

"Did you notice anything out of the unusual other than the temperature?" The human doctor asked, circling the table, checking the baby's ears and throat while her asari technician moved to accommodate her.

Kolyat shook his head again in denial. "Other than the constant crying? Nothing. I took him home. I changed him. I fed him. I put some lotion on his shedding fringe. Then I realized how hot he was. I came straight here."

"He's been crying the whole time? Has he slept at all?"

"Not since I got him this morning," Kolyat sighed, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion before glancing at the technician who pursed her lips as if trying to hide a smile.

 _I'm glad my exhaustion is amusing because I'm ready to lose my fucking sanity._

"His tonsils are inflamed and his ears are infected." The human rested the stethoscope around the back of her neck, dangling it over her shoulders as she touched the babies neck with the tips of her fingers, her gaze locked on the wall in front of her like she was concentrating. "What did you feed him?"

"A few _piyoh_ crackers," Kolyat answered, tucking his arms against his chest starting to worry. Maybe the baby was sick because of something he did? Was it the food? "I gave him some _falai_ fruit, like five small pieces, but he's been fighting me with any more food and I couldn't get him to drink any water. Is – Is he going to be okay?" Kolyat did his best to keep the panic he felt swelling within his stomach from seeping into his voice. Although he thought he might have failed in concealing it all.

The doctor looked at him and smiled, which was probably meant as reassurance, and nodded. "Once we figure out, if whatever is going on is viral or bacterial, we can treat him. That is of course if there's nothing else hidden causing the symptoms." She moved her hands to the baby's chest and started unbuttoning the onesie. "You probably don't know if he's allergic to any medications, right?"

Kolyat shook his head again feeling useless. "How sick was the baby? Was it something he should've noticed sooner? Was some of the infants discomfort his fault. Guilt wiggled its way into Kolyat's gut like an unwanted guest. Maybe if he paid more attention and didn't get frustrated so quickly he would've noticed something quicker?

If he wasn't so wrapped up in the inconvenience to himself … not even considering what the baby was going through - being unwanted by their own mother….

 _As if I don't know what that feels like…._

Kolyat pushed his spiraling dark thoughts away and concentrated on the doctor who finished removing the cloth and took her stethoscope to start listening to his lungs and stomach. She waited patiently, not in the least bit distressed or worried while the baby wailed and fought as the technician held the baby and sat him up a little so the human could check his back.

Kolyat tried to imagine himself dealing with that every day and couldn't. Not even a full day in and he felt like a hot mess of anxiety and frustration.

"Let's weigh him," the doctor spoke up, looking at the tech once she was finished feeling around the babies stomach and down his legs. "He's colicky, and it sounds like he has some moisture in his lungs. He was most likely brought into a humid environment too early for his lungs to handle it."

Fear filled Kolyat's chest knowing all too well the infant mortality rates when they were left in high moisture locations. It was mandatory that infants remained in high heat and dry conditions for the first two months. Was the woman on Kahje before she came here? Did she keep him outside the domed city for an extended period of time?

Anger and resentment coursed through Kolyat's veins because of a woman who was supposed to be a protector and caregiver but instead could be the reason for the death of a child. Not wanting to be a mother was one thing, but the irresponsibility of how they handled it … a situation hitting close to home.

"He's a few pounds underweight." The doctor frowned and shook her head. "He was just left at C-Sec?"

Kolyat nodded, his lips turning down in disapproval.

"He's been mistreated," she continued. "The belly button also looks like there's a slight infection from a ripped off umbilical cord - it wasn't left to fall off naturally - and if you notice his back-" She lifted the baby and turned him over. "You can see marks where his skin tore. He hasn't been bathed properly or given anything to sooth his scale growth."

 _If I get an opportunity to find her, I'm bringing her ass up on child negligence charges. Fucking cunt._

"How old do you think he is?" The older he was, the better chance he had at survival.

The doctor took a tiny flashlight from her pocket and grabbed a glove from the other. After putting it on, she waited as the tech held the baby and then pushed a finger into the babies mouth, fighting against him as he tried to move his head while he screamed. "He's about four weeks."

 _Four weeks … that might not be old enough for his lungs to heal…._

The doctor pulled her hand back and removed her glove, watching as the asari grabbed a clean white onesie from a bin and started putting the outfit on the golden, yellow, infant. "Let's get an IV drip going. Take some blood and we'll administer some antibiotics to get the fever down until we see exactly what bacteria or virus we are dealing with." Picking up a datapad on the counter she looked over the file and clicked on a few indicators. "I'm also ordering something to help him sleep. He needs rest." She turned her gaze towards Kolyat. "Are you planning on staying with him?"

Kolyat swallowed roughly but nodded several times in quick succession. The whole ordeal was unexpected but, given the circumstances, he felt somewhat responsible to see the situation through, until he at least knew the baby was going to be okay and safely delivered into child services custody.

The doctor nodded in return and then turned her attention to the technician who finished dressing the baby and was now wrapping him in a white hospital blanket. "Alright, once the baby is set up in one of the rooms, get Officer Krios a reclining couch. He's going to be here awhile."

* * *

 _A box._

 _Another freaking box._

The baby was sleeping in another box - given that it was large and clear and had a cushioned bottom, technically it was still a box - large holes cut into the sides and a lid to complete the structure.

Kolyat moved from the doorway and made his way into the room, unsure what to do with himself. He hated hospitals. Hated the atmosphere and the eerie quiet of them. The only sounds in the room being the clicks and beeps of the medical monitors. Not to mention the smell. The antiseptic coating that covered your tongue like a bundled blanket the deeper you went into the facility like a snowstorm. He hated the cold of the rooms.

Although the babies room seemed warmer than most. Kolyat noticed the heat lamps as soon as he entered, and the temperature regulators next to the large container the infant occupied showing one hundred degrees within. The lower half of his body was still wrapped in the blanket but his arms were free. One hand was covered in a large bandage where an IV line connected to a nearby console, the wires, and tubes held through a small hole in the side of the plastic cubicle.

The baby seemed blissful and serene and looking at him finally in deep slumber, Kolyat could feel a weight lift from his shoulders. The invisible tense waves of the day finally calming and giving him a reprieve. He would never take quiet moments for granted again.

He sat in the cushioned chair provided for him and noticed the indicator on the side let him know that the structure would recline if he pushed back on it. Exhaustion hit him like a falling building, and Kolyat leaned back and slanted the chair a little for comfort. If he was going to be here awhile he might as well get some rest.

He kept the infant in his view until his eyes slipped closed, a tiny smile on the babies mouth just as Kolyat drifted off into his own deep slumber.

* * *

The infant remained in the hospital for two days. Kolyat went home at one point to quickly shower and change, grab some food and head straight back to Huerta. For some reason every time he left the babies side an annoying, gnawing feeling, ate away at his gut, urging Kolyat to get back to the babies side. He didn't know what it was. Something annoying, making him feel responsible until he knew the child was going to be alright.

He hated the feeling. The uncertainty causing worry to cloud his mind. The quiet between nurse or doctor visits forcing him to be alone with his thoughts and the scenarios that came to the surface. At one point he grew frustrated when he started crunching the numbers again. The night Kolyat spent with the woman, the length of pregnancy and the age of the child. He tried to review the memory of that night. Tried to recall if the woman was in heat, but the experience of her now made him sick to his stomach.

That night she was a stranger, but now he knew just enough about the type of person she was to wish he never gave her the time of day. He should've found someone else, maybe pursued that man he originally had his eye on. If he took a chance, instead of backing off, he probably could've taken him away from the turian.

Kolyat sighed and shook his head, pushing away the 'what ifs' and rose from his chair. He needed to stretch his legs. Maybe get something for the kid to take with him when he was dropped off at child services. The doctors told him that the baby was doing much better. The antibiotics and medicines helping his lungs and breaking the fever. They gave him a special medicinal bath for his scales and told him over time, with proper care, the marks of his torn scales would disappear.

Without realizing, Kolyat ended up at the baby store he visited the day before. Walking around slowly, he wandered the aisles for several minutes, not sure what he was even looking for. Eventually, he stopped at a display table with several baby toys and a mountain of stuffed animals. He smiled as he picked up an elcor plushie and turned it over to glance at the price, wondering if he should buy that for the baby. If a toy would make him happy.

"I didn't think I would see you again," a familiar voice called out.

Kolyat looked up from the table and stared straight ahead, the dark purple drell from the day prior stood before him, gold eyes bright and a friendly smile etched across full luscious mouth. "Gavin," Kolyat stated, wishing he was a little smoother, but felt preoccupied with too many crushing thoughts.

Gavin didn't seem to mind Kolyat's lack of finesse because he nodded and smiled wider, taking a few steps closer. "Kolyat," he said back and then glanced around the table. "Where's the baby?"

Kolyat pursed his lips and placed the plushie back on the table before he quietly answered, "in the hospital."

The surprise on Gavin's expression was easily recognisable, a soft mournful purr emitting from his throat in soothing apology. "I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?"

Kolyat sighed and rubbed his eyes, the stress of the last few days coming back to him on the currant of a silent oncoming tidal wave. He shook his head and rubbed a hand over his head fringe before letting his gaze fall back on Gavin. His patient, golden eyes, full of genuine care. His elegant fingers forming into a loose fist against his chest. "A little after I left here, I realized he had a high fever. I took him straight to Huerta Memorial. That's why he was irate and crying so much. The _piyoh_ crackers soothed him, but…."

Gavin glanced down at the table as if thinking, his expanding irises indicating that he might be lost in a memory. After just a moment, he blinked and snapped his gaze back towards Kolyat, a frown making his smile fall. "I'm sorry I didn't notice when you were here. Do they know what caused it?"

"That is definitely not your fault. I actually appreciated the help you gave me," Kolyat returned before he momentarily fell silent, unsure of how much he wanted to admit to a complete stranger again. A completely beautiful stranger. "Child negligence," Kolyat finally confessed after several heartbeats of silence, seeing immediately the question and astuteness in Gavin's stare and the need for Kolyat to explain further. "The baby was actually abandoned and … put in my care for a few days until he could be dropped off at child services." Kolyat was starting to become exceptionally good at the half truths. "When I took him to Huerta, the doctors noticed that he was neglected on several counts. Mostly because he was left in a high moisture area for too long."

Gavin blinked and stared at him in budding horror. "That's awful. Is he going to be okay?"

Kolyat smiled softly and nodded, looking back down at the table, running the palm of his hand against an exceptionally soft blue blanket. "The hospital is going to release him tomorrow and then I'm going to take him straight to child services. I uh … I just wanted to get him something and … I ended up here."

Another gentle smile slowly pulled at Gavin's lips, his expression soft and filled with something Kolyat felt was compassion. "The sentiment is nice, even though he won't remember you, maybe you can scent mark the blanket and a piece of you will remain with him for a time."

Gavin's words made him pause. _He won't remember me. Myself … or his stupid mother._

That was a good thing, right?

Unexpected nausea rolled through Kolyat, but he fought it down and nodded with a sense of sadness. A sense of detachment and uncertainty.

 _The child's not mine. I'm making the right choice. It's good that he won't remember anything he's been through._

Kolyat looked up and forced a smile to his lips before he picked the blanket up and held it slightly up toward, Gavin. "Do you have something like this in green and yellow?"

* * *

"You need more blood?" Kolyat asked the technician in raising suspicion when she came into the room in the middle of the night. He knew she tried her best not to wake him, but her footsteps were not as silent as she'd probably hoped and the shifting of her uniform jacket roused him from his sleep. She glanced at him and smiled just as she finished drawing a small amount of blood from the IV line into a tiny tube.

Was the medical staff trying to bleed him dry?

How much blood did he have left to give?

"Just a small amount." The nurse reassured. "The doctor wants to run one more test to check his vital organs. Make sure all the blood counts are correct now that the fever broke and he's going to be released in the morning.

Kolyat stayed silent for a moment, his mind still foggy from the remnants of lost sleep and his jumbled uncertainties from the last few days. The question left his mouth before he could think twice. "Can I ... can I ask for a specific test if I wanted it?"

"Depends on what it is and if it's warranted," the nurse shrugged casually.

"I ..." Kolyat sighed and rubbed the back of his neck trying to look anywhere except at the asari who stood before him. Eventually, he snapped his gaze straight to hers with determination, his mind made up in wanting to know the truth. "I want to run a paternity test."

The nurse blinked without expression and looked between the baby and himself. "I ... I see. I sense some kind of hidden story here, but ... let me just ask one question and I really need you to answer honestly?"

"Alright." He narrowed his gaze.

"In the interest of the child's safety. Was the story true? Was the baby dropped off at the police station in his current condition?" Her eyes were hard, heavy like she could see through bullshit thrown at her. She had to in her field of work. The child had been neglected after all.

Kolyat licked his dry lips and nodded. "He was ... but by a woman, I slept with almost a year ago."

"I see." She had no judgment in her gaze but she looked down and pursed her lips.

It made Kolyat a little nervous. Like he needed to speak, say something - anything. "I just need to know before I bring him to the agency tomorrow. At least I'll know if I'm making the right choice."

The nurse drew her lips into a thin line, almost as if she was refraining herself from saying something. Taking a deep breath she squared her shoulders and reached into her pocket taking out a second tiny vial. "I'll need a little more blood, and some of yours as well."

She turned and took a little more from the baby and placed the vial in her pocket. Peeling off her gloves she threw them in the medical waste bin and grabbed a fresh pair from a cabinet beside the bed. Placing them on she nodded at him and Kolyat took that as his silent cue to roll up the sleeve of his shirt. After an alcohol swab and a quick draw, she gave him a cotton ball to press against the spot of injection.

She placed the vial in her opposite pocket and took off the gloves, tossing them with the first pair into the bin. She turned to leave but hesitated at the door, her gaze going from him towards the baby. "I'm not supposed to ask personal questions that aren't related to the ailment but ... what will you do if he turns out to be yours? Will you still take him to the agency?"

"Yes," Kolyat answered without hesitation. "I can't take care of a baby. I barely have my own life together, and his mother clearly wanted nothing to do with him. It's not fair that I have to make up for her negligence."

The words were harsh and Kolyat wondered if he truly meant them or if he was just venting his frustration.

The woman stood silent and stared. Another glance at the clear box and then at him before she nodded her head and left without another word.

Nothing would make him feel guilty about his decision. Honestly, it was just an annoying curiosity. It didn't matter if the baby was his or not. What kind of life would he be able to give a child at that moment?

Granted, yes, he did have savings, still, much of his father's inheritance Thane told him to keep, but how would it even work? He couldn't tell his father what happened, couldn't distract him while he just recovered from his lung transplant and was traveling with Shepard, gods know where. He had no significant other to ask for help, fuck, he barely had any friends - and the ones he did have wouldn't know an ass from an elbow.

There would be late night feedings and constant crying. He would need child care and what if the baby got sick again? Children were expensive and he doubted his salary would cover everything. He would be exhausted and it would make his job unsafe if he couldn't concentrate.

He was thinking about this too much….

No. He couldn't raise a baby. His job took up all of his time, and he knew the effects of an absentee father. There would be no other _hara_ or _haru_ to be reliable on. He was alone. The baby would be alone. Not even a single relative nearby.

No ... it didn't matter what the results were. Tomorrow, once released, he was going to take the baby straight to the agency and be done with it. No strings attached. No looking back.

It was better for everyone.

 _He won't remember me…._

* * *

Several hours later, Kolyat's omnitool alerted him to an incoming message from the hospital. The results of the paternity test.

Taking a deep breath, Kolyat opened the email but closed his eyes and grit his teeth trying to catch his bearings, wanting to reassure himself. "It doesn't matter," he whispered. "I already made my decision."

He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling, the beat of his heart hammering against his ribcage made his chest feel as if it was about to explode. Licking his lips, Kolyat let out a ragged breath, doing his best to fight back the waves of terror from forming in his gut.

 _Arashu, Goddess of motherhood and protection. I leave it in your hands._

He looked down and stopped breathing.

Paternity results: Positive match.


	3. Chapter 3

"Officer Krios?"

Kolyat looked up as his name was called, the automatic response feeling more like he was following the motions rather than actually living in the moment. Everything felt as if he was swimming through cobwebs, sluggish to a halt. He stared at the human woman who approached him like a bad dream. A reaper ready for the harvest, coming for the bountiful yield in the seat beside him.

He blinked and forced himself from the descent, staring at her from his seat in the waiting room to the mouth of the hallway where she stood. He was having trouble mentally processing her. She was a decent looking woman, tight blonde hair pulled high in a bun atop her head and soft grey eyes that radiated kindness and warmth. She probably wasn't much older than him. Kolyat clutched the lush yellow and green blanket on his lap like a vice, shifting he rose from his seat and nodded toward the woman in acknowledgement. Her smile did nothing to quell the uncertain darkness manifesting in his heart.

"My name is, Evelyn," she said, glancing down at her datapad and dropping her hand, holding it loosely at her side. She turned slightly and held out a hand towards the walkway in a welcoming gesture, her smile growing ever brighter as she glanced at the baby in the chair beside him. "This way, please."

Kolyat dropped his gaze to the infant in the carrier, tiny hands moving in small, jerked movements, as he shifted the colored measuring spoons tied loosely with a ribbon around his wrist. The baby must have sensed his movement, his gaze searching while Kolyat moved to grab the handle of the carrier. He blinked and looked up at him, blue irises trying to catch Kolyat as he let out a content gurgle.

Taking a deep breath to help steady his mind, Kolyat made sure to avoid his gaze, rocks forming in his stomach as he lifted the carrier and turned to follow the human woman down a brightly lit corridor to a series of desks in a large central office noticing other agents and individuals spread sporadically through the large open space.

After he took a seat - wedging the baby carrier against the desk and chair securely beside himself - Kolyat handed over all the paperwork and documents in his possession. He answered basic questions, telling her about the infant and what he was exposed to, treatments and recovery process at the hospital. He handed over the vaccination charts and beginner allergy tests along with age, weight and height specifications.

"Everything looks good," Evelyn finally said after a long silence while she processed the information into the data system. Enough time for guilt and apprehension to worm its way through his gut like a frozen and twisted wisp.

Tidying up the paperwork on her desk, Evelyn opened up a new folder and placed it in front of Kolyat. "On behalf of the agency, we thank you for keeping him with you for a few days. It's been a little busy lately and he was obviously in good care." She smiled and glanced at the baby with fondness. "He looks happy. You should consider being one of our fosters."

"So what happens now?" Kolyat blinked slowly, unresponsive to her compliment and inquiry. He just wanted to get everything over with and leave. Get back to his life and forget what happened. His gaze drifted over to a human woman across the office from him, a baby carrier of her own propped up on the desk. She vigorously signed something before she abruptly stood, snatched her purse and walked away. The baby left behind with the asari agent that helped her. Kolyat released a shaky breath and snapped his attention back to the woman before him. "How long before he finds a suitable home?"

"Well … that's a tricky question. One without a clear answer."

"What do you mean? You don't know how long it will take to find him a home?" Kolyat narrowed his eyes in rising ire.

Evelyn bobbed her head from side to side and bit her bottom lip, eyes drifting to the side as if she was contemplating. "Well, it depends. There's a possibility he'll remain in foster care for a time." As if her thoughts were settled she stared back at Kolyat head on. "Usually, families take on a child for a year or two before they are switched to a new home. However, drell's are few and far between. Only a handful of families are prepared for the responsibility. We will reach out to all of them and see if they are able to accommodate him at this time."

"You haven't reached out to any of them yet? Weren't you aware that I would be coming with a drell infant?" He wasn't able to hide the disapproval in his voice. How irresponsible of them - despite the fact that he contacted the organization days prior. He scoffed heartlessly and looked away.

 _Yeah. Responsibility. Right._

The woman smiled wearily, her lips thinning into a straight line. "Unfortunately, I didn't receive that information until three hours ago when the case file was transferred into my workload. For now, he will remain within the agency with one of our childcare specialists. Later today I will start making calls and set up visits with the foster homes to see if any are able to accommodate him at this time."

"A foster home? Not a permanent home?" Kolyat asked a question he already knew she answered but he didn't like that she only sternly repeated information that she stated earlier.

"A quick, permanent home, doesn't work like that." The woman shook her head. "Once I create a bio, the baby will be entered into the database where people looking to adopt will be shown his case file. When someone shows interest, then they will go through our extensive background and home screening to see if the baby will be a good fit."

Childcare Specialist. Temporary Home. Screening process. Possible accommodation. Kolyat felt himself growing ill the more he listened to her speak.

She shuffled the paperwork and glanced down at the information. "There is, of course, our agreement with the Illuminated Primacy."

Kolyat raised an eyeridge, his curiosity piqued. "Agreement? What kind of agreement?"

Evelyn glanced down as if she was reading words from a manual. "If, and whenever we do come into possession of a drell child, the Illuminated Primacy has an approved request that the child be brought to them no older than the age of six - if no permanent home has been established." The woman smiled, oblivious to the hidden agenda of the hanar's accordance with the adoption agency. "It's remarkable and extremely fortunate that the hanar have that accommodation for your species. He will have a chance if no permanent home has been established for him here."

Kolyat blanched in budding horror, his gaze quickly darting to the infant who was oblivious in colored spoon heaven, tiny hands trying to grasp the bright red utensil that fell out of his reach. He moved his arm and purred in delight when he realized the string controlled the movement of the spoons, bringing them closer for his grasp.

 _The Compact…._

Despair gripped Kolyat's heart like an iron vice, uncontrollable moisture rising in his eyes. If the baby was given to the hanar by the age of six and the child had no known parents, then surely...

 _It's what they need the most. No one to miss them if they die._

 _No..._

 _No..._

 _Not another Krios._

The Compact and that way of life already took so much from him.

Kolyat fisted the baby blanket on his lap while his mind went blank, watching the spoon fall once more from the infants grasp. The baby gurgled and continued to purr in excitement, tiny feet kicking out as he tried to rock his body forward, chubby arms reaching out unsuccessfully. The human woman started to speak again but her voice was drowned out by the rush of blood in Kolyat's ears. A loud roar of a life changing decision crashing down on him all at once like a sudden avalanche of realization.

Swallowing down the rocks in his throat, Kolyat grasped the spoons and handed them back to the baby. Another pleased purr and something that sounded like budding laughter followed as the infant pulled the red spoon from him and put it in his mouth with a squeal of triumph. Kolyat couldn't fight the smile tugging at his lips.

"So, Officer Krios, I won't take up any more of your time. I just have one more document for you to sign which places the child into our custody. If you would..." Evelyn held up a data pen towards him and waited patiently with a smile of enthusiasm, her other hand pushing the electronic device to rest in front of him.

He looked back at her with wide-eyed hesitation. The world slowed to a crawl. His mind went quiet, movements flowing back toward automatic response, battle sleep tugging at the edges of his consciousness. Reaching up with a shaky hand, Kolyat took the pen from her grasp. The small piece of plastic suddenly felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds.

The baby wouldn't remember him. He had the possibility of a better life. Even with the compact he would never be alone. He could thrive in a different way … if he survived. He would have better opportunities than being stuck on the Citadel with a single father. Kolyat had to believe that...

Kolyat licked his lips, his throat seizing as the air disappeared from the room.

 _No … It's a lie..._

 _ **His**_ child didn't have any guarantees.

Kolyat's gaze fell towards the document before him … and he lowered his hand ready to sign.

* * *

He did it.

He actually did it.

Kolyat rubbed the palm of his hands over his upper thighs, releasing a heavy, rattled breath which seemed to shake the very foundation of his soul. He was nauseous. Nauseous and dizzy, but he felt oddly at peace. Leaning back against the park bench he sat upon, Kolyat sucked in as much air as his lungs would hold while he came to terms with his final decision, his head starting to clear. He felt good though. Good and terrified. Anxious and full of uncertainty of what the future would hold and if the choice he made in the end would be the right one.

Only time would tell.

Shifting in his seat, Kolyat brought one foot up and rested it on his opposite knee, turning slightly to check on the sleeping infant beside him. He lifted an arm and cradled the carrier, the small device propped up on the bench beside himself. Kolyat still couldn't believe he told the woman to forget everything after showing her his paternity results, claiming the child as his and signing the paperwork to close the case.

 _His_ child. _His_ son.

 _I have a son…._

The gravity of that acceptance still felt like a waking dream and he wondered if the infant even realized what was transpiring. Kolyat would have to scent mark the child as soon as he got home to make sure the baby identified him as kin. Although, Kolyat had a feeling the baby already recognized him as his father.

 _Father … shit … what am I going to tell, Father?_

Kolyat swallowed roughly and pushed those thoughts away for the time being as he stared at the infant for a long while, engraving every detail to his memory; every scale and marking, every hue and curve. His soft yellow skin shimmered gold in the light, a touch of blue hiding beneath the surface, indicating the dominant pigment that would change as he grew into adolescence. Unlike Kolyat, he only had a small amount of black scales on his face, the normal pentagon and two outward crescent moons that ended in a small split like tiny wings. Kolyat observed his frills - dark burgundy like his own and a thin patch of black that lined his cheek fringes.

And of course the cerulean irises.

Looking … really looking at the baby with his heart and not denial, Kolyat knew deep inside that the child was his from the very beginning. It just took some time for him to finally admit and accept.

"What are we going to do now?" Kolyat asked, knowing he wasn't going to get an answer. He sighed and opened his omnitool checking the information that was given to him by the agency to register the live birth of the baby and get him an identification number for the Citadel. A name too.

After several moments of research, Kolyat stood and carefully lifted the carrier, doing his best not to wake the infant before he set off to the registration office.

* * *

Kolyat walked into the store with hesitation unsure where to begin, or better yet, where the hell he was going to put everything he needed to buy for the baby. After a quick trip home to drop off the gift bag he received from the registration office - filled with a few diapers, wipes, burp clothes, a checklist with coupons and a tiny stuffed unidentifiable animal the lady at the desk said was a penguin from Earth - Kolyat grabbed the booklet, prepared a bottle and pocketed the coupons for the same baby store he visited twice already.

Once he passed the threshold, he stepped to the side and placed the carrier on the ground, checking to make sure the baby was still sleeping. Tucked in comfortably with his plush yellow and green blanket. After Kolyat was satisfied he opened up the checklist of items the registrar office gave him for newborn drells.

 _Bibs. Burp cloths. Clothes. Swaddlers … what the hell is that? A crib … shit. How much is that going to cost?_

Kolyat sighed and grabbed the carrier wondering if he would qualify for a line of credit so he wouldn't destroy all of his savings in one shot. Looking around he spotted the signs for the information counters and moved to make his way over to the computer consoles. He froze as soon as reached them. His gaze automatically drawn to the handsome purple scaled drell who stood by an area with a receiving sign. His presence stalled Kolyat's heartbeat, footsteps halting as he stared in captivation.

Gavin seemed lost in thought, his gaze shifting between the datapad he held and a large pallet of boxes and metal containers before him. His expression was that of concentration, gaze intense as he touched the screen and then walked around the pile, hand tapping a few sections as if he was looking over the contents. Using his onmitool he scanned a label and then went back to reading the data pad.

Kolyat was hesitant to approach, second guessing if Gavin would even want to speak to him again. The man was attractive to say the least. Tall and lean, with piercing gold eyes and striking, sharp features. Mesmerizing and elegant. Just looking at him caused a flutter low in Kolyat's stomach.

Walking around the pile and back again, Gavin glanced up and blinked rapidly as their eyes met. A bright, wide, toothy smile lit up his features, eyes dancing with genuine happiness, and it helped ease the cold uncertainty in Kolyat's chest.

"Kolyat! Welcome back." Gavin placed the datapad on top of the containers and walked straight towards him, eyes falling on the sleeping infant. "He's out of the hospital. That's good. How's he doing?"

Kolyat mentally relaxed, heartened by Gavin's unfeigned tone and care. "He was released last night. He's doing much better, now. Three more days of antibiotics."

"That's great!" Gavin crouched down and peered at the baby, but kept a good distance most likely to be polite. "His scale's look vibrant. I didn't think he was capable of sleep." Gavin purred in joviality before standing back up, giving Kolyat an award winning smile.

His stomach did a somersault. "Occasionally," Kolyat jested back hoping his voice didn't sound as breathy as it felt.

"How much longer do you have him for?"

"I … well…." Kolyat hesitated and glanced away trying to figure out how much he wanted to tell Gavin who was still a complete stranger. "I decided to take responsibility - adopt him!" Kolyat caught himself at the end. It was mostly the truth. Not a complete lie. Better then 'I fucked a woman who had my baby and abandoned him in my arms before I had a mental crisis when I realized he was actually mine.'

Gavins eye ridges shot up in blatant surprise. "Wow, that's … that's really amazing, Kolyat. Your family must be very proud of you."

Kolyat blinked in dismay, his lips thinned out in a grimace and he was unable to meet Gavins penetrating eyes. Slight panic gripped his chest as his thoughts fluctuated between everything he would have to do, and all the possibilities of how he could fuck it all up. He would literally be doing this on his own. "I don't have any family. I have a father but …" He shook his head as he thought about his father, not wanting to distract him from his mission. "He's not around."

Gavin purred in contemplation. The sound bringing Kolyat's attention back towards him. His head was tilted as he stared at Kolyat thoughtfully, hidden perceptions swirling over his features. "What about a girlfriend?"

The question caught him off guard and he wondered if it was an automatic thought or if Gavin was fishing for information on his marital status. Kolyat shook his head in denial.

"A boyfriend?"

Kolyat smirked. "No. I'm single." The silence stretched for several heartbeats as Gavin stared at him in stoic scrutiny. Kolyat laughed uncomfortably, the beginning throes of panic once more clutching at his throat. He felt like he was on the verge of losing his mind. "I'm crazy, aren't I?" he asked, hoping his voice wasn't as hysterical as his thoughts were. Maybe if someone else said it too he wouldn't feel so alone at that moment. "I keep thinking about what I'm about to take on and … I'm terrified. I don't know if it's completely the right choice but … I just …" He shook his head again and trailed off, feeling guilty about unloading on someone he barely knew.

"Well…" Gavin started, voice soft but filled with care. "You have to ask yourself, why you made that choice? Why did you, if you don't mind me asking?"

Kolyat swallowed roughly, his lungs feeling like sandpaper. He fucked up. He really did, but it wasn't the baby's fault. How could he blame an innocent for a single decision that he made consciously. He knew what it was like to be unwanted. To be alone. Forced from one place to another without guidance or anyone to show care for his well being. The baby already experienced that with their mother. He wouldn't do that too.

"It wasn't guaranteed that he would end up with permanent parents. There was a large possibility that he would've been bounced between households or remain a child of the system - for who knows how long. What if he ended up with someone who didn't want him? Force him to do something he didn't want to do? Experienced terrible things because..." Kolyat sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I had the documents in front of me - the pen in my hand and I…" He sighed again and looked up with a grimace. "I just couldn't do it. I didn't want him to end up like that."

Kolyat paused and took a steady breath, worse case scenarios still fresh in his mind. "Maybe we are fated by Arashu. Maybe that's why he was given to me." Kolyat glanced down at the sleeping infant in the carrier, his heart raw but open to a future with his son. Willing to walk that path. "It's not going to be easy … and I don't even know if I'm making the right decision ... but I'm going to try to give him a better life than he might've gotten. I'll do my best."

That's all he really could do.

Gavin met Kolyat's gaze, a gentle smile and a softened air around him as if he felt Kolyat's pain. He let out a soothing purr. "Anyone can have a child ... but it takes a real man to become a father. You sound like you're on the right track already."

Kolyat froze in place, the gravity and warmth of Gavin's words spreading through his chest like wildfire, a heavy weight branching out through every vein like liquid lead. He didn't know what to say, what to think. He just stared at Gavin with deep rooted appreciation. His words touching him and meaning more than Gavin would probably ever understand. "Thank you. You have no idea - by saying that - how much it meant to me."

He nodded in return, his gaze lingering before he brought it towards the infant. "Have you given him a name yet?"

Kolyat returned Gavin's gentle expression. "I decided on, Theodus - after my grandfather. Theo for short."

He looked back up to Kolyat with a purr of approval. "A beautiful name. Like yours. It suits him nicely."

"Thank you." Kolyat's frills heated. Silence stretching between them.

Gavin cleared his throat, cheeks flushed. "So … I take it you're here to get some stuff for Theo?"

"Yes," Kolyat mentally shook away the fuzzy feeling Gavin gave him. Reaching into the side of the carrier, Kolyat brought out the paper of recommended items. "The registrar office gave me a list to help me out."

"May I?" Gavin asked, holding out his hand taking the paper given to him once Kolyat nodded in acceptance. He opened it and read over the list before handing it back. "This is pretty standard stuff. Some items are immediate but other's you can buy at a later time."

"Honestly, I'm kinda lost, but I'm sure I'll figure it out as I go. Does your store have a line of credit I can apply for?" No use going bankrupt in one shot.

A slow smile crept back over Gavins lips. "I was going to recommend that. The monthly payments are more manageable. Especially for a parent just starting out." He turned slightly and held his hand out, gold eyes shining with warmth. "Follow me, I'll do the application with you."

Kolyat's heart tightened in his chest, his mouth going dry. Was it from Gavin using the word 'parent' or his presence? Kolyat had a hard time deciding. Shifting the carrier in his hands he checked on Theo and followed Gavins lead until they made their way to a back register away from the main area. Moving around the counter Gavin reached into his pocket and took out a card swiping it over the scanner on the side of the large screen.

"So I have to ask a few questions before we get started to make sure you'll be approved," he stated, fingers flying over the keyboard as he navigated the screens, his burgundy button up shirt and black tie shifting in all the right places making Kolyat lose focus momentarily. He purred in acceptance.

"Are you employed?"

"Yes."

"Salaried or hourly?"

"Salaried," Kolyat replied. "But if I work overtime I get hourly."

"Do you work a lot of overtime?" Gavin asked with a curious glance. Kolyat had a feeling that question was more personal.

"I did but … that's probably going to change. At least for a little while."

Gavin nodded in understanding. "I could imagine as you're figuring everything out. Do you rent or own?"

Kolyat smiled suddenly feeling like he was at an interview … or a first date. "I rent."

"Later the application will ask how much your monthly payments are." Gavin looked back at the screen and typed something in before turning back towards Kolyat with a returned grin. Did he always look that sexy when he smiled? "Can I have your ID please? I need it for the registration."

"Yes. Of course." Kolyat nodded and placed the carrier down reaching into his back pocket to grab his wallet. His gaze darted to Gavin when he heard a harsh release of air escape the purple man's lungs.

Gavins eyes were at his chest then, his body frozen in mid motion, except for one of his hands which darted below the rim of the counter. His warm smile was gone, replaced with calm neutrality, even his friendly purrs were cut off. Glancing down in confusion, Kolyat noticed that the hilt and side of his pistol came into view from the holster around his shoulder resting below his ribs.

Realization dawned on him. "You don't have to hit the panic button," Kolyat replied gently, one of his hands held up in a calming manner as he saw Gavin's hand move again, his eyes wide but hesitant as Kolyat called him out on the reason for his jerked movements. He knew most stores had several locations with a trigger that would call C-Sec instantaneously.

Kolyat flipped open his wallet, the C-Sec identification card right on top and held it up for Gavin to see. His other hand pulled back to the opposite lip of his jacket which revealed the Officer badge clipped to his belt.

Clear relief passed over Gavins expression. "Oh, thank the Goddess," he let out with a long heavy breath, holding his hand to his chest. "You're a Security Officer." Gavin chuckled just as Kolyat frowned. "Sorry. Not like you gave the impression you were a bad guy, but I saw the pistol and thought-"

"The worst. I know." Kolyat finished flatly for him. "I usually get that." Kolyat took the Citadel Registration card and his C-Sec identification card out and handed them to Gavin.

"I'm really sorry," he purred in apology. "Please don't take offense. I didn't know drells were allowed to become officers because we don't have a council seat." Gavin trilled with remorse.

Ok, he could give him that. He had logical reasoning. "Usually no, but recently there have been allowances for those who have affiliations to the Citadel Council to petition for a spot in Citadel Security. Mine came from the human Councilor."

"You know the human Councilor?" Gavin asked in interest, head tilting to the side in wide eyed curiosity.

Kolyat shook his head in denial. "Not personally. I've only met him once at a charity event, but my father … he works closely with him sometimes."

"Is that why he's not around? He works with the Council?"

Kolyat paused and blinked at Gavin slowly, a soft smile curled his lips again, ready to test the waters between them. "You're asking a lot of personal questions you know that, right? Usually, I get a drink or dinner out of it first."

Maybe sex wouldn't be completely off the table. Wait … I can't fuck the guy who is trying to help me!

It was Gavin's turn to blink in surprise then, his eye ridges shooting up before a slow grin curled one side of his mouth. He glanced away, cheeks darkening before his stare trailed back, eyes shining in appreciation. "Sorry, I-" Gavin smiled brightly and shook his head as if he was trying to find his words. He caught Kolyat's gaze without inhibition. "I find you interesting, Kolyat. I actually wouldn't mind having-"

"Mr. Rhyss, I'm sorry I'm late!" A human girl called out running towards them in interruption.

Gavin cut off whatever he was about to say, his expression darkening, his smile falling like the last rays of sunset, eyes shifting to the intruder. "Excuse me a moment." He moved away from the counter and around to meet the girl as she approached.

Kolyat turned his head to look at her, a human barely out of her teenage years. Pale skin, long brown hair and soft blue eyes, cheeks flushed from her exertions. Theo let out a low purr just then and his attention shifted to his son. Awake and staring at him expectantly.

"You finally decided to wake up? I wish I could sleep all day." Kolyat purred in kindness noticing Theo's mouth open and curl into a semi smile like he was savoring Kolyat's voice. He let out a happy sound and a returned purr while he tried to move his arms beneath the blanket.

"You hungry?"

Theo just stared back at him, silent now. Not like Kolyat really expected him to answer. He knelt down and took the bottle from the side of the carrier and presented it to Theo who opened his mouth eagerly as soon as the piece touched his lips. Kolyat couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation going on behind him.

"Did you clock in?"

"Yes, I-"

"Then fix your apron," Gavin cut her off. Kolyat glanced back hearing the disapproval in Gavin's tone. The girl looked down and saw her purple apron and shirt were wrinkled and bunched around her midsection.

"Mr, Rhyss, I'm really sorry I'm late again. I was up all night doing my paper and studying for my test tomorrow."

Gavin's trills were silent, his voice neutral. "You're here now."

"Mr. Rhyss, I-"

"The safe is counted," he cut her off again, handing her a card chip from his pocket. "The datapad is on top of the pallet by receiving. I stopped at item sixteen. Finish doing the count, have stock pack it out and make sure they are ready for the truck tonight. Leave notes to remind overnight that formula inventory is due by tomorrow morning. Leave it on my desk."

"Yes, sir." She nodded and looked over towards the pallet of boxes and crates. "Are you doing the schedule tomorrow?"

"It's done. I have to do payroll."

"Oh." The girl sounded dejected. "I can't work a few days next week."

Gavin purred in disapproval. "Erica, you know the policy. You should've told me two days ago."

"Mr. Rhyss, I'm sorry. I have a really big project due."

Kolyat stopped listening and turned all of his attention towards Theo, his mouth pulling away from the bottle with an angry cry, an aggravated sound humming from his throat. Kolyat placed the bottle down on the counter and removed the blanket, unbuckled the baby and lifted him from the carrier. "Not hungry? You want to be held?"

Theo purred again, that time making a content sound as he shoved a tiny fist in his mouth. Kolyat brushed the frills of their cheeks together and gave the baby a soothing purr in return while he righted himself. He smiled as Theodus let out a happy gurgle as Kolyat pulled him securely against his chest, one hand under his butt, the other rubbing his back with a gentle pat.

"I apologize I had to step away like that." Gavin's voice came up beside him a moment later.

"Not a problem. It must be hard sometimes."

Gavin purred in question and moved behind the counter again. "With Erica?"

"Being a manager, I mean," Kolyat corrected. Not wanting him to think he fully paid attention to the conversation. "A few people close to me are in positions of leadership. The hardest part is getting everyone to see eye to eye."

"Well…" Gavin looked away thoughtfully. "It's not the easiest thing but we work with what we have."

Kolyat looked over towards Erica who was then in the process of looking over the datapad. "She late a lot?"

Gavin purred in confirmation as he picked up Kolyat's Identifications and placed them near the screen so he could read them and type. "She's been struggling since she started college. Unable to balance both of the responsibilities."

Kolyat nodded in understanding. "I can relate. I'm about to go through juggling two responsibilities myself." Kolyat rocked Theo in his arms thinking about all the changes his life was about to experience. He wouldn't be able to stay late at work until he got a bearing on his schedule. He would have to figure out childcare. Make a new routine. Budget out expenses. Not to mention drinking, dating and sex were probably going to be off the table for awhile.

A long while.

"She's had plenty of time to adjust. She's just not making an effort," Gavin spoke up, his voice harsh, the topic hitting an apparent nerve. Kolyat quirked an eye ridge in interest as Gavin frowned and lowered his tone before continuing, "honestly, I'm going to have to let her go during her next evaluation."

"Well, I'm the last person to judge. Besides, she barely looks eighteen. I think we all fuck - ughh mess up at that age." Kolyat glanced down at Theo until he realized he couldn't understand what he said. "I for one screwed up really bad at that time in my life, but that's what makes us learn so we can change things for the future."

"You sound like an optimistic person."

Kolyat chuckled but shook his head in denial. "You would think that, right? But I'm far from sunshine and believing in miracles. My dads really philosophical. He likes to shove that shit down my throat like air … but if all else, it's helped me a lot over the years. Things change - people change. They get second chances after they get their bearings. People to help them along the way if their lucky. I believe in that." Kolyat glanced back at Erica for a brief moment. "Maybe she'll learn from this. Maybe she'll crash and burn, but if all else, it'll be an experience to teach her something for the future. A lesson learne.d" Kolyat glanced down at Theo and gave his back another gentle rub and tap after he gave a soft hiccup.

"I believe in second chances too. Only someone who's been dealt a hard blow truly understands." Gavin somberly returned typing on the screen while he glanced between the two identifications. After he finished logging the information he handed back the cards waiting as Kolyat shifted Theo in his arms before turning the pad in front of him around for Kolyat to see. "I just need you to sign there."

Kolyat nodded and shifted the baby higher against his shoulder taking the attached data pen and signed his signature. As he waited for the form to process, Theo started to fuss in his arms and Kolyat bounced him slightly and patted his back. "He gets like this after he eats. I don't get it."

Gavin looked up at Theo and smiled serenely. "You need to burp him. Put a cloth on your-"

Just then Theo let out a loud wet belch and Kolyat felt warm moisture hit his face and neck. "Ugh, Gods," he groaned and flinched in disgust fearing the worst. He peeked open one of his eyes and looked down at his chest, his stomach tightening in dread as he glanced at the spit up that decorated the front of his clothes.

Kolyat sucked his teeth, picked up the carrier and placed it on the counter, immediately strapping Theo in who only stared at him then in silent innocence. Kolyat frowned and shook his head, frills heating in embarrassment. It figured that he would get thrown up on in front of the hot store manager.

However, Gavin only chuckled, a rich melodic song of a sound, before he reached under the counter to produce a stack of napkins just as Kolyat started to remove his jacket. "I was trying to tell you to put a burp cloth or a bib on your shoulder. Infants tend to spit up. Their systems are still developing."

"Yeah. Noted," Kolyat grimaced pulling the material of his jacket from his arms and shimmed himself out of it, placed it down on the counter. Taking a few of the napkins he wiped his face and neck before getting to the liquid on his leather jacket. "I hope this doesn't stain. This jacket is new and it smells horrible now."

Gavin covered his mouth and snorted back a laugh, his eyes lingering over Kolyat's chest and arms with a look of appreciation before he glanced away. "You might have to dry clean it."

"Yeah…" Kolyat trailed off continuing to wipe his jacket clean. "It's a good thing I probably wasn't trying to date any time soon. I bet I smell great now."

Gavin grinned softly and helped gather up the used tissues. "Well you did just get thrown up on. Maybe someone is into that."

"Now that's disgusting," Kolyat deadpanned being rewarded with another song of a laugh from Gavin.

His gaze went back to the screen as a message opened up. "Your application was approved. You received a limit of thirty-five hundred credits to start with. That's more than enough to get started!" he ended with clear excitement.

"I'm not going to max it. I just need to get some essentials."

"I wouldn't suggest you should. That would be extremely irresponsible, but as a store manager in charge of making sales you didn't hear that from me." His smile was genuine and warm and Kolyat's stomach did a flutter as he stared at him in interest.

His throat felt dry and he forced himself to swallow. "Would ah … would you do it with me?" Kolyat coughed mortified when he realized what he asked. Gavin's eyeridge shot up in curiosity and he purred in question. "Shopping!" Kolyat shouted louder than he meant to. "I meant shopping!" Totally not sex. "I mean you're the expert. I'm sure you can guide me through everything I need quickly. If you're not busy of course. You're working, so you're probably busy. Nevermind. That was dumb of me to ask." Kolyat's cheeks felt like they were on fire and he quickly gathered up his things, shoving the bottle and napkins into the side of the carrier.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_

Kolyat felt self conscious while he grabbed his jacket avoiding Gavin's stare halting his horrible prior rambling. Gavin probably thought he was an idiot. He stood there awkwardly his attention going to Theo who started to kick his feet and try to grab at the fabric of the leathers and pull the sleeve into his mouth. Kolyat frowned and pulled the jacket back purring in denial. "Don't put that in your mouth."

"I'm actually done for the day." Gavins gentle words urged his gaze back towards him. His features were serene. Not vexatious or uninterested. "Let me just go change and I'll meet you by the front registers. Five minutes?"

He blinked back in surprise. "You sure? You don't mind?"

"Not at all." Gavin looked down at Theo with fondness. "You want to make sure you get him everything he needs, right? How can I say no to someone who is taking on a huge responsibility out of the kindness of their heart."

Kolyat took a deep breath to steady his racing heart, his voice more serious than he meant it to be. "I'm not as kind as you think I am. Trust me."

Gavin only shook his head, keeping that same sexy smile. "Well that remains to be seen. Five minutes. I'll meet you in the front."

His tone left no room for argument. All Kolyat could do was nod and stare at Gavin while he walked away. Kolyat was unable to hide the grin that curled over the side of his mouth as his stomach tightened in rising anticipation.


End file.
